Take deep breaths

As a dialysis patient you are often faced with the challenges of extreme anxiety and sadness and physical pain emotional pain and it is sometimes hard to deal with these things.  Sometimes you don't even realize how difficult it is.  I spend most of my time trying to stay positive and stay calm but sometimes my emotions and the anxiety of being on dialysis and the unanswered questions as to when I would get a kidney transplant get the better of me. this week was a difficult week for whatever the reason, lots of little things went awry and I just felt like I was teetering on the edge and it was very hard to stay calm and positive and relaxed under the circumstances. So when I'm sitting at dialysis having all this anxiety the one thing that everybody says over and over again is take deep breaths and sometimes that helps but sometimes it doesn't and this was one of those weeks where just taking deep breaths did not help. There are too many unanswered questions in my head most of the time and not knowing when this trip, journey, experience whatever you want to call it is going to go to the next phase makes the anxiety that much greater. I know that I just have to be patient and keep taking those deep breaths and focusing on being positive and keeping a smile on my face. Most of the time works, so I guess I'll stick with that until it's time to go forward.