For those of you who know me personally, you know that I am making a Bar Mitzvah in the Fall. Very exciting stuff around here. Things are moving along swimmingly and then I just had a "random thought" what happens if I magically get a kidney donor. Well, you're probably think, "Are you a fucking idiot don't worry about the Mitzvah get your new kidney!!" Yes I know, when I really stop aand process things that's what I would do, without question. My son would read from the Torah as practiced regardless of what state I am in, but the festivities would be postponed, and now Im thinking that what better reason to delay a celebration. It would be like my Bat Mitzvah and wedding redux!! That could prove to be even more exciting. Sorry, rambling..
I warned, random thoughts: Did you know that when a child tells you (and I quote) " I am a difficult child to parent" you should run screaming! Yes my own son told me that the other day. I am pretty sure I should just give up now, because I will not live through his teenage years which are coming quick!
My kids are so different it is truly amazing. One is confident, outgoing, enjoys athletics, where the other is so entirely the opposite on every level. Yet they are both super smart, intuitive and down right cool. It is very interesting watching them succeed and fail, learn and grow. This has been an interesting year since I have been around so much, not working because of dialysis. This year and yes it is almost a year, has shaped our family in the so many different ways. It's hard to explain, but easy to imagine.
Oh by the way, it's been hot, as hot as it was last July and the July before that and so on, you get the point (LOL)
I love my dog more than life itself!! "I only like golden retrievers." I really do mean that. Penny makes me laugh and smile at least ten times a day.
Another thought, my husband and I watch "something stupid and funny" every night before bed. It is our policy, we stand by it 100%. You can't go to sleep after 4 episodes of Law&Order SVU! All you here all night is the "chunk, chunk" sound and dream of Elliot Stabler(oh, did I say that out loud!) Trust me watch a Goofy Comedy from the 80's(it's a category on Netflix) and you'll sleep like a baby!
Not to go all depressing on you, but I saw something at dialysis on Friday that I hope no one ever has to see. Let me start off by saying that there are some very sick and very old people on dialysis. Especially the time of day I go for treatment. But one of my section mates is not very old but has many other health problems, that make dialysis very difficult. Dialysis lowers your blood pressure so we are monitored very carefully in that area. But this man in my section, not well, his blood pressure dropped and then he had no pulse. They had a defibrillator ready. they bagged him and gave oxygen. I was 5 feet away. Everyone remained calm, they called 911 and thankfully he regained consciousness. It scares me to think that someone could die there. I have seen them rush to other patients who have passed out. It is another odd reality that I endure.
I hope I didn't bore you with my random thoughts. Please follow me and comment thoughtfully.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Keeping the Faith
I have always been the type of person that believed that everything happens for a reason. I do stand by that. A lot of people do not get behind that, but I do. You can probably now ask yourself, what reason can we give for disasters, sickness, pain, heartache and on and on. I can't answer that question but what I can say is that for every situation, good or bad that we are faced with, we come away with some lesson learned or some realization of what we could have done differently to effect the story. So again, I wonder what reason is it that I should have kidney disease and CML and have to be on dialysis and need a life saving surgery. Well, honestly I don't know that yet, but I do know that is my faith in goodness and my faith in my family, friends, my G-d and myself that keeps me going each and every day.
Keeping the faith isn't just a catchy song lyric, it's a test and a trial each day. When I get up in the morning and I realize I have to go to dialysis again, I say this sucks, why should I do this shit, but I dig a little deeper and a pray very hard to have the strength to get me through this day. And when I am tired and aggravated sitting in the chair watching the clock and the machines and the blood pressure monitor I grab onto my faith a little harder and watch another episode of Mad Men on Netflix. (On a side note, I don't know how people ever survived any kind of long term medical treatment without a tablet with Netflix and Amazon Prime , just sayin!) It is faith that keeps me sitting in that chair and it is faith that I will be better one day and faith that I am strong enough to deal with this.
As I mentioned before I believe things happen for a reason, well here is an example of this: And I will tell you, this JUST HAPPENED YESTERDAY!!! Here goes:
My favorite Aunt and Uncle and Cousins rented a vacation home out in the Hamptons and invited the rest of the family for a BBQ. We had a great afternoon, schmoozing, eating, drinking, relaxing, kids in the pool. Later on in the day 3 women stopped by, one of which was a colleague of my uncle's. They joined us for a drink and we were all chatting. One of the women was talking to my brother and mentioned something in a fleeting conversation about someone needing a Kidney. Well naturally I had to get in this conversation, I said, "I need a kidney, I am dialysis". She said her father recently had a transplant at the same hospital that I am going to have my eventual transplant at. OK no big deal, right? Well, she continued to tell me that she works at the transplant hospital in the POST transplant department, so that after my surgery and discharge I return to the hospital quite often and I am followed for 3 years by this team. She is one of the doctors that I am to see. In addition, my transplant coordinator is her boss. THIS MEETING WAS NOT A COINCIDENCE!. I believe that we were supposed to meet. I am still reeling from this "chance" encounter. Honestly, what are the odds that this random person, who has no connection to anyone but a colleague of my uncles' and came along for the ride meets me, someone who will now be connected to her for at least 3 years. It's hard to comprehend .
Is it my faith and strength that brought this to light? I am not sure, but what I do know is that I will continue to keep my faith and belief that I will be ok, because it is working so far.
Keeping the faith isn't just a catchy song lyric, it's a test and a trial each day. When I get up in the morning and I realize I have to go to dialysis again, I say this sucks, why should I do this shit, but I dig a little deeper and a pray very hard to have the strength to get me through this day. And when I am tired and aggravated sitting in the chair watching the clock and the machines and the blood pressure monitor I grab onto my faith a little harder and watch another episode of Mad Men on Netflix. (On a side note, I don't know how people ever survived any kind of long term medical treatment without a tablet with Netflix and Amazon Prime , just sayin!) It is faith that keeps me sitting in that chair and it is faith that I will be better one day and faith that I am strong enough to deal with this.
As I mentioned before I believe things happen for a reason, well here is an example of this: And I will tell you, this JUST HAPPENED YESTERDAY!!! Here goes:
My favorite Aunt and Uncle and Cousins rented a vacation home out in the Hamptons and invited the rest of the family for a BBQ. We had a great afternoon, schmoozing, eating, drinking, relaxing, kids in the pool. Later on in the day 3 women stopped by, one of which was a colleague of my uncle's. They joined us for a drink and we were all chatting. One of the women was talking to my brother and mentioned something in a fleeting conversation about someone needing a Kidney. Well naturally I had to get in this conversation, I said, "I need a kidney, I am dialysis". She said her father recently had a transplant at the same hospital that I am going to have my eventual transplant at. OK no big deal, right? Well, she continued to tell me that she works at the transplant hospital in the POST transplant department, so that after my surgery and discharge I return to the hospital quite often and I am followed for 3 years by this team. She is one of the doctors that I am to see. In addition, my transplant coordinator is her boss. THIS MEETING WAS NOT A COINCIDENCE!. I believe that we were supposed to meet. I am still reeling from this "chance" encounter. Honestly, what are the odds that this random person, who has no connection to anyone but a colleague of my uncles' and came along for the ride meets me, someone who will now be connected to her for at least 3 years. It's hard to comprehend .
Is it my faith and strength that brought this to light? I am not sure, but what I do know is that I will continue to keep my faith and belief that I will be ok, because it is working so far.
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